Of Human Bondage 人性的枷锁 Chapter 65

Hayward's visit did Philip a great deal of good. Each day his thoughts dwelt less on Mildred. He looked back upon the past with disgust. He could not understand how he had submitted to the dishonour ¹ of such a love; and when he thought of Mildred it was with angry hatred ², because she had submitted him to so much humiliation ³. His imagination presented her to him now with her defects of person and manner exaggerated, so that he shuddered ⁴ at the thought of having been connected with her., ,'It just shows how damned weak I am,' he said to himself. The adventure was like a blunder that one had committed at a party so horrible that one felt nothing could be done to excuse it: the only remedy was to forget. His horror at the degradation ⁵ he had suffered helped him. He was like a snake casting its skin and he looked upon the old covering with nausea ⁶. He exulted ⁷ in the possession of himself once more; he realised how much of the delight of the world he had lost when he was absorbed in that madness which they called love; he had had enough of it; he did not want to be in love any more if love was that. Philip told Hayward something of what he had gone through., ,'Wasn't it Sophocles,' he asked, 'who prayed for the time when he would be delivered from the wild beast of passion that devoured ⁸ his heart-strings?', , ,Hayward had only been settled in London a few days when Philip received from Blackstable, where it had been sent, a card for a private view at some picture gallery. He took Hayward, and, on looking at the catalogue, saw that Lawson had a picture in it., ,'I suppose he sent the card,' said Philip. 'Let's go and find him, he's sure to be in front of his picture.', ,He would rather die than live in dishonour.他宁死不愿忍辱偷生 。,He looked at me with hatred in his eyes.他以憎恨的眼光望着我
。