曼斯菲尔德庄园 Chapter 45

CHAPTER XLV ,At about the week's end from his return to Mansfield, Tom's immediate ¹ danger was over, and he was so far pronounced safe as to make his mother perfectly ² easy; for being now used to the sight of him in his suffering, helpless state, and hearing only the best, and never thinking beyond what she heard, with no disposition ³ for alarm and no aptitude ⁴ at a hint, Lady Bertram was the happiest subject in the world for a little medical imposition. The fever was subdued ⁵; the fever had been his complaint; of course he would soon be well again. Lady Bertram could think nothing less, and Fanny shared her aunt's security, till she received a few lines from Edmund, written purposely to give her a clearer idea of his brother's situation, and acquaint her with the apprehensions ⁶ which he and his father had imbibed ⁷ from the physician with respect to some strong hectic ⁸ symptoms, which seemed to seize the frame on the departure of the fever. They judged it best that Lady Bertram should not be harassed ⁹ by alarms which, it was to be hoped, would prove unfounded; but there was no reason why Fanny should not know the truth. They were apprehensive ¹⁰ for his lungs. ,A very few lines from Edmund shewed her the patient and the sickroom in a juster and stronger light than all Lady Bertram's sheets of paper could do. There was hardly any one in the house who might not have described, from personal observation, better than herself; not one who was not more useful at times to her son. She could do nothing but glide ¹¹ in quietly and look at him; but when able to talk or be talked to, or read to, Edmund was the companion he preferred. His aunt worried him by her cares, and Sir Thomas knew not how to bring down his conversation or his voice to the level of irritation ¹² and feebleness. Edmund was all in all. Fanny would certainly believe him so at least, and must find that her estimation of him was higher than ever when he appeared as the attendant, supporter, cheerer of a suffering brother. There was not only the debility of recent illness to assist: there was also, as she now learnt, nerves much affected ¹³, spirits much depressed ¹⁴ to calm and raise, and her own imagination added that there must be a mind to be properly guided. ,The family were not consumptive, and she was more inclined to hope than fear for her cousin, except when she thought of Miss Crawford; but Miss Crawford gave her the idea of being the child of good luck, and to her selfishness and vanity it would be good luck to have Edmund the only son. ,Even in the sick chamber ¹⁵ the fortunate Mary was not forgotten. Edmund's letter had this postscript ¹⁶. "On the subject of my last, I had actually begun a letter when called away by Tom's illness, but I have now changed my mind, and fear to trust the influence of friends. When Tom is better, I shall go." ,Such was the state of Mansfield, and so it continued, with scarcely any change, till Easter. A line occasionally added by Edmund to his mother's letter was enough for Fanny's information. Tom's amendment ¹⁷ was alarmingly slow. ,Her eagerness, her impatience ²⁰, her longings ²² to be with them, were such as to bring a line or two of Cowper's Tirocinium for ever before her. "With what intense desire she wants her home," was continually on her tongue, as the truest description of a yearning ²³ which she could not suppose any schoolboy's bosom ²⁴ to feel more keenly. ,When she had been coming to Portsmouth, she had loved to call it her home, had been fond of saying that she was going home; the word had been very dear to her, and so it still was, but it must be applied ²⁵ to Mansfield. _That_ was now the home. Portsmouth was Portsmouth; Mansfield was home. They had been long so arranged in the indulgence of her secret meditations ²⁶, and nothing was more consolatory ²⁷ to her than to find her aunt using the same language: "I cannot but say I much regret your being from home at this distressing ²⁹ time, so very trying to my spirits. I trust and hope, and sincerely wish you may never be absent from home so long again," were most delightful ³⁰ sentences to her. Still, however, it was her private regale ³¹. Delicacy ³² to her parents made her careful not to betray such a preference of her uncle's house. It was always: "When I go back into Northamptonshire, or when I return to Mansfield, I shall do so and so." For a great while it was so, but at last the longing ²¹ grew stronger, it overthrew ³³ caution, and she found herself talking of what she should do when she went home before she was aware. She reproached herself, coloured, and looked fearfully towards her father and mother. She need not have been uneasy. There was no sign of displeasure, or even of hearing her. They were perfectly free from any jealousy ³⁴ of Mansfield. She was as welcome to wish herself there as to be there. ,It was sad to Fanny to lose all the pleasures of spring. She had not known before what pleasures she _had_ to lose in passing March and April in a town. She had not known before how much the beginnings and progress of vegetation had delighted her. What animation ³⁵, both of body and mind, she had derived ³⁶ from watching the advance of that season which cannot, in spite of its capriciousness, be unlovely, and seeing its increasing beauties from the earliest flowers in the warmest divisions of her aunt's garden, to the opening of leaves of her uncle's plantations ³⁷, and the glory of his woods. To be losing such pleasures was no trifle; to be losing them, because she was in the midst of closeness and noise, to have confinement ³⁸, bad air, bad smells, substituted for liberty, freshness, fragrance ³⁹, and verdure, was infinitely ⁴⁰ worse: but even these incitements to regret were feeble, compared with what arose from the conviction of being missed by her best friends, and the longing to be useful to those who were wanting her! ,Could she have been at home, she might have been of service to every creature in the house. She felt that she must have been of use to all. To all she must have saved some trouble of head or hand; and were it only in supporting the spirits of her aunt Bertram, keeping her from the evil of solitude ⁴¹, or the still greater evil of a restless, officious companion, too apt to be heightening danger in order to enhance her own importance, her being there would have been a general good. She loved to fancy how she could have read to her aunt, how she could have talked to her, and tried at once to make her feel the blessing ⁴² of what was, and prepare her mind for what might be; and how many walks up and down stairs she might have saved her, and how many messages she might have carried. ,It astonished her that Tom's sisters could be satisfied with remaining in London at such a time, through an illness which had now, under different degrees of danger, lasted several weeks. _They_ might return to Mansfield when they chose; travelling could be no difficulty to _them_, and she could not comprehend how both could still keep away. If Mrs. Rushworth could imagine any interfering ⁴³ obligations, Julia was certainly able to quit London whenever she chose. It appeared from one of her aunt's letters that Julia had offered to return if wanted, but this was all. It was evident that she would rather remain where she was. ,We declared ourselves for the immediate convocation of the meeting.我们主张立即召开这个会议。,The witnesses were each perfectly certain of what they said.证人们个个对自己所说的话十分肯定 。