Emma 爱玛 - Chapter 44

The wretchedness of a scheme to Box Hill was in Emma's thoughts all the evening. How it might be considered by the rest of the party, she could not tell. They, in their different homes, and their different ways, might be looking back on it with pleasure; but in her view it was a morning more completely misspent, more totally bare of rational satisfaction at the time, and more to be abhorred ¹ in recollection, than any she had ever passed. A whole evening of back-gammon with her father, was felicity to it. There, indeed, lay real pleasure, for there she was giving up the sweetest hours of the twenty-four to his comfort; and feeling that, unmerited as might be the degree of his fond affection and confiding ³ esteem ⁴, she could not, in her general conduct, be open to any severe reproach. As a daughter, she hoped she was not without a heart. She hoped no one could have said to her, "How could you be so unfeeling to your father?-- I must, I will tell you truths while I can." Miss Bates should never again--no, never! If attention, in future, could do away the past, she might hope to be forgiven. She had been often remiss ⁵, her conscience told her so; remiss, perhaps, more in thought than fact; scornful, ungracious. But it should be so no more. In the warmth of true contrition ⁶, she would call upon her the very next morning, and it should be the beginning, on her side, of a regular, equal, kindly ⁷ intercourse ⁸., ,She was just as determined ⁹ when the morrow came, and went early, that nothing might prevent her. It was not unlikely, she thought, that she might see Mr. Knightley in her way; or, perhaps, he might come in while she were paying her visit. She had no objection. She would not be ashamed of the appearance of the penitence ¹⁰, so justly and truly hers. Her eyes were towards Donwell as she walked, but she saw him not.,"The ladies were all at home." She had never rejoiced at the sound before, nor ever before entered the passage, nor walked up the stairs, with any wish of giving pleasure, but in conferring obligation, or of deriving ¹¹ it, except in subsequent ridicule ¹²., ,There was a bustle ¹³ on her approach; a good deal of moving and talking. She heard Miss Bates's voice, something was to be done in a hurry; the maid looked frightened and awkward; hoped she would be pleased to wait a moment, and then ushered ¹⁴ her in too soon. The aunt and niece seemed both escaping into the adjoining room. Jane she had a distinct glimpse of, looking extremely ill; and, before the door had shut them out, she heard Miss Bates saying, "Well, my dear, I shall say you are laid down upon the bed, and I am sure you are ill enough.",Poor old Mrs. Bates, civil and humble ¹⁵ as usual, looked as if she did not quite understand what was going on., ,"I am afraid Jane is not very well," said she, "but I do not know; they tell me she is well. I dare say my daughter will be here presently, Miss Woodhouse. I hope you find a chair. I wish Hetty had not gone. I am very little able--Have you a chair, ma'am? Do you sit where you like? I am sure she will be here presently.", ,Emma seriously hoped she would. She had a moment's fear of Miss Bates keeping away from her. But Miss Bates soon came--"Very happy and obliged"--but Emma's conscience told her that there was not the same cheerful volubility as before--less ease of look and manner. A very friendly inquiry ¹⁶ after Miss Fairfax, she hoped, might lead the way to a return of old feelings. The touch seemed immediate ¹⁷.,Each of these oracles hated a particular phrase. Liu the Sage abhorred "Not right for sowing". 二诸葛忌讳“不宜栽种” ，三仙姑忌讳“米烂了 ” 。 来自汉英文学 - 中国现代小说,He tried to recollect things and drown himself in them.他极力回想过去的事情而沉浸于回忆之中
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